Reasons for Visiting Me in Kentucky

I, unfortunately, will not be staying in the District this summer.  Instead, I will be going home and hopefully working multiple jobs to (a) make money and (b) forget the fact that I’m in Kentucky.  However, I would love it if my friends came to visit me so I’ve compiled a list of reasons why they should visit me.

1. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER.
2. I WILL HAVE A SERIOUS SOUTHERN ACCENT ALL THE TIME.
3. YOU CAN MEET MY LITTLE SISTERS WITH SERIOUS SOUTHERN ACCENTS.
4. WE CAN GO TO THE DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATER.
5. YOU CAN DRINK SWEET TEA.
6. YOU CAN GET AN AWESOME TAN.
7. YOU WILL ALSO PROBABLY LOSE WEIGHT FROM SWEATING (IF YOU’RE INTO THAT KIND OF THING).
8. I HAVE A POOL.
9. HOMEMADE KOREAN FOOD.  
10. BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME AND DON’T WANT ME TO GO INSANE OR END UP IN JAIL FOR HURTING SOMEONE.